Sunday, February 26, 2017

New Dark Angel Release - Annie & the Sybian

I've got a new Dark Angel title out for the end of February!!!  And it's free on Kindle Unlimited =)

If you liked Annie Rides the Sybian on Literotica then you'll probably like Annie and the Sybian =)  It's a re-write of the Literotica story and it's kicking off the start of Annie's Erotic Adventures.  It's NOT a romance, which is why I decided it was a Dark Angel book.  It's also not as dark as Annie Rides the Sybian was; while there's a slight hint of coercion, it's very clear Annie can leave at any time, to conform to Amazon's requirements, and that's the biggest change from the Lit story.  I wanted to turn it into a sexual awakening story and then be able to have her erotic adventures continue.  I'm not sure yet where she's going to go, but I have a feeling it's going to be a lot of fun to do an Annie book once a year!

When Annie's parents' neighbor Mark tells her he has a Sybian, she doesn't know what that is, but when she gets back to college and looks it up, she becomes obssessed with the idea of riding one. Once she's back home on summer vacation, the opportunity arises when Mark leaves town and she's house-sitting for him.

But riding the Sybian is the least of Annie's dark fantasies, and after Mark returns and she finds out he had cameras down in his basement where the Sybian is located, she has an opportunity to live out more of her fantasies. She offers a trade: she'll ride the Sybian in front of Mark, live, if he'll delete the vidoes of her. Mark accepts the trade and Annie dives into an erotic, perverse rabbithole of sex for Sybian rides, pleasure for pleasure, and her darkest fantasies come true.

Annie and the Sybian is an erotica novel, approximately 25,150k words, full of Sybian rides, sex, double penetration, a horny eighteen year old, and a HFN ending. It is NOT a romance. Annie's adventures will continue when she goes back to college. There is no cliffhanger.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

My Terrible Bad Shark Movie Addiction Begins

February is going to be the month of bad shark movies for me, I can already tell.  Just in case anyone else gets bitten by the bug, I figured I'd start reviewing the ones I've been watching.:

Shark Lake
I had high hopes for this one because it had Dolph Lundgren in it.  I watched this the same night as Avalanche Sharks and Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark.  Despite the higher quality of acting, cinematography, and plot from the other movies, I found it to be the least enjoyable.  It was too mediocre to be a good movie or a bad movie and Hubby and I found ourselves fairly bored while watching it.  The plot/acting wasn't good enough to keep us engaged and the sharks attacks weren't bad (or constant) enough to be the enjoyable, schockly B-horror movie quality we were looking for.  It was like they aimed for Jaws and so went over the Sharknado territory but never quite hit "good movie" territory.
Final Thought: Not bad enough to be part of a bad shark movie night

Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark
Bad... oh god it was so bad it was almost good.  The quality was not helped by Hubby's absolute fury at the technology explanations sprinkled throughout the movie (basic technical jargon that, if you have any sort of technological knowledge apparently made absolutely NO sense, as I was informed multiple times).  We also didn't realize that this was the third such movie being made, which means we missed out on lots of character building (I assume) and the beginning of the movie jumped straight into the action.  I was pretty okay with it jumping straight into the action.  The action was hilariously, gloriously bad and by the time Mecha Shark is on land and causing all sorts of havoc, Hubby had given up on anything in the world making sense and I was dying laughing.  I would recommend watching this after a couple of drinks, especially if you have any working knowledge of computers, robotics, or physics.  Hubby declared it more nonsensical than Sharknado.
Final Thought: I really want to see the first two now

Avalanche Sharks
I enjoyed this movie a stupid amount.  Even hubby enjoyed this movie, if I use the term "enjoy" loosely, although I'm not sure he wasn't just beaten into submission by this point as it was the third movie we'd watched that evening after Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark and Shark Lake.  The story is hilariously improbable - not only are these snow sharks, but we immediately discover they're GHOST snow sharks.  Amazing.  One of the main characters has "made up" a story about the mountain where he and the other characters (can't remember anyone's name - totally unimportant) are traveling to, and of course the story he's made up is actually totally real.  The sharks are huge, bloody, and hilarious.  The death scenes are entertainingly schlocky.  The cinematography is awful and hilarious (a series of nature shots that goes on for like a minute, switching every ten seconds or so... is it time passing? is it just nature?  can they possibly show another one? - yes! Yes they can!). The acting is good enough to be bad-good and there's plenty of hilarity to be had.
Final Thought: So far, this one is definitely my favorite.

3 Headed Shark-Attack
Hubby's first comment when he looked up to see what I was putting on was "Danny Trejo and Rob Van Dam"?!  We shouldn't have gotten our hopes up that they would help.  Although Danny Trejo was definitely the highlight (and the best actor) in the movie.  It was so, so, so bad, to the point where it was just pushing being too bad to be enjoyable.  They do start the movie off right, with lots of bewbs, almost as an apology for what you're about to watch.  Rob Van Dam doesn't bring any of his WWE charisma, unfortunately (he's totally got his boring baby-face on the entire movie).  Danny Trejo is a total badass, but not in nearly enough of the movie.  What saves the movie is the absolute ridiculous antics of the three-headed shark and its totally implausibility when it comes to attacks, which are fantastically awesomely awful.  There's even a twist in the movie, which nearly had me crying with laughter.
Final Thought: Not for the faint of heart - have alcohol on hand in case you can't take it.