A "safeword" is used in BDSM when a submissive is in too much pain /
turmoil / etc. to continue with the scene. Different relationships
within BDSM use safewords in different ways - with a Master and slave
relationship safewording can mean the end of the relationship, rather
than just the scene. With a sadist and masochist, it can mean that the
masochist has hit their pain threshold. With a newbie, it can mean that
they've become too uncomfortable with what's happening - maybe because
they feel that the Dom has gone beyond the discussed boundaries of the
scene, maybe because they're having an overwhelming and unexpected
emotional reaction, maybe because they've hit the point where they trust
the Dom they're working with.
Safewords are important because sometimes your automatic instinct is
to say "no" or "stop" but in a BDSM relationship that might not
actually what you want, it's just an automatic reaction when someone is
pouring hot wax on your sensitive bits. So having an agreed upon word to
immediately halt the action is important.. A standard safeword, often
used in BDSM books and IRL (as far as I can determine) is "Red," which
is often used in combination with "green" and "yellow" - like a stop
light. Green means that the sub is good, comfortable and ready for more.
Yellow means that they need a moment to collect themselves or that they
want to stop and discuss something / need reassurance / etc. but it is
not a "stop" safeword, the Dom will continue. Yellow is often used when
a sub is doing something completely new which the Dom knows will push
their boundaries. Red is the immediate STOP and the scene is over.
People often have their own personal safewords that they use, a word
that they will remember in the middle of a scene and that is something
you wouldn't otherwise hear in a scene. One of my favorites that I once
saw in a book was "Houston" - as in "Houston we have a problem." I
laughed my ass off over that one.
For my own books, I'd love to have some unique safewords and (hopefully) some funny / original reasons behind the safeword.
So far this is what I've come up with:
"Uncle" - as in "say uncle."
"Kitchen" - which came from "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen"
"Checkmate" - possibly a chess player? (ok, you can see that I suck at this... please help me out)
"Monkey" - long standing fear of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz
yeah
okay. so those are some of the ones that I've come up with. Safewords
usually have some kind of meaning behind them for the submissive who
chooses it, because it has to be a word that they will remember no
matter what. I've noticed that in most of the books that I've read it
seems to come from a life event. My own personal preference is to choose
a word that I find unsexy (like, for me saying "Daddy" would be an
instant mood-killer, but for someone in a Daddy Dom relationship that
obviously wouldn't work because it would actually be a turn on.).
So. Any suggestions? Please leave it in a comment section! It may end up in a book ;)
Pepperoni.
ReplyDeleteLOL that's a fun one... any suggestions for the reasoning behind it?
DeleteA good one for not breaking the role play is "MERCY".
ReplyDeleteAs far is red light stop safe word, something that is not sexual that the sub in question dislikes "Brussel Sprouts".
Oooo I really like "Mercy" for the role playing sequences =) Thanks!
DeleteIf the sub is from higher education background you could use Latin "Terminus = end".
DeleteOooooo that's a great one! Thanks!!!!!!!
DeletePickle. My reasoning being that if I hear pickle in the middle of an SM scene, I must be doing something wrong.
ReplyDeleteI *want* to hear begging and pleading. STOP! Mercy please! No more are just as much music to my ears as are moans, purrs, yips and screams. All of it just drives me deeper into domspace.
Pickle... not so much.
heh heh, that made me giggle, I like it =D
DeleteCacao!
ReplyDeleteSee the episode of Portlandia...