Thursday, July 21, 2016

UGH Stupid Block

I haven't written a blog in a while, but I have writer's block right now so I figured I'd try to break through it on here... ramble a little, see if anything sparks.

Currently working on Bound to the Past, the next book in the Stronghold series, aka Andrew and Kate's story, aka my first ever exes getting back together story.

It's hard.

Not because the characters are hard.  Nope.  They're great.  Love them.  Know exactly what I want to do with them.  Fleshing it out... hard.

The prologue flowed soooooo easily.  I've been waiting so long to write that scene!  Well, series of scenes.  It's a bit difficult because I've dropped so many hints about what went down between them, but my vision of what happened between them has changed drastically since I first started writing the series.

I knew what I didn't want.

I didn't want this to be a "one person is to blame for everything" kind of breakup.  I didn't want there to be any stupid miscommunications or misunderstandings or people not talking to each other because they're too prideful (aka don't actually care enough).  I didn't want this to be a case where someone is clearly in the wrong - even if it appears that way initially.

I didn't want a book where both of them have been in love with each other for years and can't find anyone else.  Nope.  Just a heads up, if you're hoping for a "I've never loved anyone like you and never will again" type of book, this isn't it.  Both of them have moved on and gotten over each other, although Andrew's never quite gotten over his issues surrounding their breakup.  Kate's done a better job with that, but she's still got some baggage too.  This isn't going to be a reconnecting, "we're going to fix things now because we could have never loved anyone but each other."  Mostly because I don't believe in that.  I've been in love with two men in my life, passionately and desperately, fortunately at different times.  One of those relationships worked out, but the first one didn't.  And for a long time, I believed the whole "I'll never love anyone like I loved him" and "you never get over your first love" thing.  I mean, no I won't love anyone like I loved him and thank goodness for that, because it wasn't super healthy and I wouldn't want my relationships to be the same.  Since he was my first love and I am definitely over him (you couldn't pay me to get back together with him, but I do enjoy running into him at mutual friends' gatherings and knowing that he's doing well and is happy), I know that it's possible.

I didn't want a book about love lasting over time when there's no connection between the two characters.  Sure, nostalgia lasts, caring lasts, but real love?  With no communication and no longer knowing the person?  Yeah, that's not realistic.  Not when the timeline is years.

I wanted a book about falling in love a second time with the same person.  The same person, but a person who has changed.  Who has grown.  It's not the same relationship.  I wanted roadblocks where there were none before, I wanted struggling to understand the changes their partner has gone through.  New issues, new relationship, same people.

The prologue and the first couple of chapters were so easy.  The just floooowed.  Now I'm to Andrew and Kate trying to scene at Stronghold again and I'm hitting a few roadblocks myself.  Not sure why.  Haven't even gotten them to the private room yet.  But it's like, I write a few paragraphs and then I just... *brain fizzle*

So I'll step away and work on something else for a bit.  Mostly another title for Dark Angel.  But even there, I write maybe 2 or 3 times as much as I do for Andrew and Kate and then... *brain fizzle*

So I'll take a break, start reading something, and then my brain starts working over time and I start figuring out all these things that I'm going to write for Andrew and Kate if I can just get past this ONE DAMN SCENE.


Stupid brain.

Okay, my fingers are feeling a little more interested in working now that I've vented a bit and gotten kind of in the mood for writing.  Let's see if I can't get more than just a couple paragraphs done!