Thursday, September 28, 2017

All The Things

Goodness... so much going on.

Well, first things first - what's NOT going on.  I've been just terrible about finishing Taken by the Viking for Literotica and I feel bad about it but my mental energy is just so low right now it's going to be all I can do to finish up Benedict's Commands on time.  As much as I love my Lit readers and fans, the book deadlines take higher priority for me.  It doesn't help that Jordan and Trish haven't been very talkative in my head.  I do plan to finish them up before Christmas, but it's probably going to have to wait until BC is done. 

Why is my mental energy so low?  Well, I'm pretty much completely stressed out, anxious, and depressed, and while I'm doing my best to distract myself and keep my spirits up (and manage to do a pretty decent job), it's really draining.  I'm also not sure if I'm actually keeping my spirits up, or if I'm just so drained I don't have the energy to really be miserable anymore.  Or if I've just become so used to being in this state that I've stopped really noticing it as much. 

If you've been following my Facebook you know some of what's going on.  My best friend's father, who was basically my second dad (and I literally mean that, half the time I hang out with her parents she's not even there, they're a big part of my life and have been for over a decade) had been dealing with health issues for a while.  In June it got bad, they managed to get him into home hospice care at the very end of June, just in time for his and Momma's 41st wedding anniversary.  I live just down the street and so was going over pretty regularly to help out, taking turns with their kids to keep them company in the evenings and make sure they didn't need anything.  July 12 he passed away.  Bestie was out of town and called me immediately.  I went over to help Momma and her son deal with calling hospice and the funeral home and the family.  It was one of the hardest weeks of my entire life.

After that I was helping out on Momma duty, we were taking turns making sure she had someone with her every evening for the first few weeks.  Obviously something I was happy to do, just as I had been going over before he passed, but both things are still emotionally draining, esp while grieving.

A week after Poppa's funeral my own grandmother went into the hospital for what could have been a life-threatening condition but fortunately wasn't because she was admitted in time. 

A week after that Hubby's stepmother called, she was in an ambulance with his dad and they thought it was his heart.  Obviously not something you want to hear at any time, but two weeks after Poppa's passing it was especially panic-inducing.  We rushed to the hospital.  It turned out it wasn't his heart but he needed gall bladder surgery.  Surgery happened on Monday, things were looking up.

Friday he was rushed back to the hospital.  Something was REALLY wrong neurologically and they couldn't figure out what was going on.  This culminated in a brain bleed Tuesday night which, if it didn't stop on its own and they had to go in to stop it would have put his chances of survival at only 20%.  Fortunately over Tuesday night it did stop on its own and he was doing much better Wednesday morning.

We were in his hospital room getting the good news Wednesday morning (HUGE relief) when my mom texted me.  My grandfather was on  his way to the hospital, they thought he'd had a stroke.

Cue my biggest breakdown.

Since then, everyone has been getting better, I finally started feeling better, until two weeks ago when we found out my Great Aunt has aggressive cancer.  She may or may not make it to the end of the year.  I'm supposed to be going to visit her this weekend but haven't heard back from any of my recent emails (and she's a little deaf so calling isn't the best option) so I've gotta reach out to one of her kids and find out if I'm still going to visit this weekend.  I would really like to, but at the same time it's not exactly a happy visit since it's very possibly the last time I'll see her if she doesn't make it to the holidays.

And last week hubby's aunt on his mom's side tried to kill herself, fortunately her brother found her and got her to the hospital in time.

So that's where I'm at and why I am running low on creative mental energy.

However, where I'm running a little higher is on energy for things that will distract me from what's going on in my life and require no creativity... so cue perfect time to start getting serious about audio books!  People have been asking about audio books for a while and Venus School was the only one I had available.

I am happy to report that Venus Aspiring now has a narrator and is in production.

Chasing His Bunny has a narrator and is in production.

Chasing His Squirrel has an interested narrator and I've made an offer so hopefully it will be in production soon.

I'm uploading other books for narrator auditions and am reaching out to narrators when no one auditions immediately... so far the Big Bad Bunnies series has definitely attracted the most narrators, but I'll keep working until I can find a narrator for every single one of my books!  I'm going to try and get a couple of my Dark Angel titles narrated as well. 

And so far, Benedict's Commands is still on schedule for an October release, after which I will hopefully bang out the last few chapters of Taken by the Viking and then jump right into Tempting the Domme for Stronghold



  1. Wishing you lots of love and light in this difficult time.

  2. Aww I hope things improve. What a rough time you are having. I hope the rest of your loved ones stay well and safe.And don't worry no matter when BC comes out you have a guaranteed sale in me!

    1. Aw thank you so much! Honestly, the support I get from my readers is definitely something which helps me stay positive when I'm feeling the most down, so I appreciate it!

  3. Thinking of you. Grief and coping can be rough, and there’s so easy way to get through it. Be gentle with yourself.

    Sn: Can’t wait for the final installments of TBTV. I’m also curious to know if you’ve considered doing a stand-alone on the Wolf. I think, out of all of the characters from TBTW/V, his character remained an enigma throughout. I wonder if that was intentional.

    Hope things look up for you soon. Sending lots of love <3

    1. Thank you so much. This year has definitely been particularly rough and I'm now in a weird holding pattern where I've started to feel better but I also know my great aunt isn't going to last too much longer =/ it's kind of awful.

      I can't wait to write the final installments of TBTV lol. It's weird, because I want to, I just can't quite seem to get there yet. There's only a few more chapters to go and I'm about halfway through the next one, hopefully once BC is out I can just buckle down and get them out. I normally work on 2-3 projects at a time but right now it feels like all I can do to focus on one.

      I've thought about doing something with the Wolf, but if I do it will not be during the same timeline as the previous books (I'd probably set it either as a prequel to TBTW events or in the future after the first shuttles leave Earth to colonize the stars) and it probably wouldn't be a big long series the way TBTW and TBTV are. But we'll see.


  4. Thanks for your response! Keeping your aunt in my prayers. <3

    And please, please consider it. I’d be happy with 1-2 lit pages, tbh. His character was the only one not fully fleshed out, and he plays such a large role in both stories. I’m curious to know how he saved Jordan, and from what, why he took such a hard line on Alex, and his feelings about Bella.

    1. Thank you so much.

      LOL well I CAN tell he's based a little bit off of Dexter (LOVE that show). He he has a set of ethics he follows, but they pretty skewed; he does feel emotions but they're all kind of messed up. I have a feeling power corrupted him to make him the way he is now. It was fun doing the little blip for him at the end of Wolf.

      A prequel would probably be pretty interesting... We'll see =D I'm definitely not going to rule it out. I've had a lot of fun with these characters.

  5. Pleeeeeease don't rule it out!

    1. LOL I never rule anything out... but I do need a break from that world after Viking =) At least for a bit!