Monday, June 18, 2012

Poker Loser Excerpt

A few weeks ago I started re-writing Poker Loser, similar to my re-write of Office Play, for Kindle. I had several reasons for doing this. First of all... Allison and Todd are two of my favorite all time characters.  It's possibly some of the best work I've done when it comes to plot, and yet I felt like there was a lot still lacking. Also, it ended up turning into a kind of romance by the time I was writing Allison's New Life and so I wanted to re-write the first two installments.  I also want to write a third installment, completing their story, for Kindle.

But that's for the future. Currently I'm working on the re-write of the original story.  My basic idea behind this was to give more back story into both Allison and Todd, develop their characters (a LOT more) and also some of the side characters.  If you were a fan of the non-consent / reluctance beginning of their relationship, you'll probably be a bit disappointed.  This re-write is going for more of a seduction / blackmail fantasy line.

So far I haven't added in a ton of sex, not like there wasn't already plenty in there to begin with, but I am re-writing a lot of the scenes and I've added a few interactions between Todd and Allison during the weekdays when they're not on their dates. I think that the set-up for Allison's New Life is going to be a lot better too. Chad has become much more realistic, Todd has become hunkier, less of a jerk and more of a heartthrob (I hope) and Allison is more sympathetic and truly enjoying her plight for the most part. I'm also introducing Diana early, although originally she didn't appear until Allison's New Life.  Allison's parents are also a lot more present (and obnoxious, IMO) and give her a whole new set of motivations and reasons behind her behavior.

I'm really enjoying the re-write. I'm about two chapters away from being finished and then I'll be able to start the re-write for Allison's New Life.  Although it probably won't keep that title. It'll probably have something to do with poker. Anyway.

One of my friends was always bothering me because he didn't like how Poker Loser started with the poker game. He always wanted to know how Allison and Todd got there. It bugged him that there was no lead in. So when I started the re-write, that was the first thing I started working on... how did Allison and Todd know each other and how did they end up playing a game of strip poker?

Here's a little excerpt (unedited) from that new portion of the book:

“So Allison.” Todd’s eyes traveled over her face and down her neck to her cleavage, eventually skimming over the skin of her thighs.  She had to resist the urge to tug her short skirt down. Something about the way Todd looked at her made her feel naked and vulnerable. “What made you agree to get a drink? I didn’t think you were actually going to say yes.”
Allison snorted. “Well maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”
“Is that an invitation to get to know you better?” Instead of sounding turned on, he sounded amused.  That really got under her skin.
“You wish,” she sipped her martini, looking away from him.  There was a small knot in the center of her stomach. Allison was used to guys who asked her to dinner, showed up with flowers and took her somewhere nice.  Whatever Todd was doing, it was way outside of her experience. It made her feel unsure and excited. 
A finger trailed down her thigh and Allison shivered, feeling herself become instantly wet between her legs.  Shocked eyes turned to look at him. No man just reached out and touched her like that. The smirk on his face made her want to slap him.
“What do you wish, Allison?” His voice was lower. More intimate.  She found herself leaning towards him without knowing why.  The fingers that had just touched her leg brushed across her face, sweeping tumbled curls back and tucking them behind her ear. “What do you want?”
God what a question. What did she want? Allison bit her lip, looking at him. What she wanted she could never have.  A normal life. The option to jump in the sack with the hot man in front of her and have a one night stand.  But if it ever got out… even now she was risking her father’s wrath by being in a bar with him.  Of course, no one here would know her. It wouldn’t get back to him. She should be safe. But this was not behavior he would approve of, and her company would have him infuriated. No lower or middle class men for his darling girl.
Fingertips trailed across her cheek and curved under her chin.  Todd’s thumb pressed against her parted lips, rubbing the lower one sensuously.  Allison barely managed to stifle the groan in the back of her throat. His dark eyes seemed to burrow into her, reading the rebellious and wild nature that she kept carefully confined, hidden away behind the socialite fa├žade and mask of upper class respectability.
With a wrench, Allison leaned back, pulling herself away and giving a half laugh.  “What do I want? I want to be able to just be me.”  Making a face she took a long swallow of her martini, looking away from him as words tumbled from her mouth. “Sometimes I wish someone would just come along and make me do all the things I really want to do.  Capture me and take me away. Or blackmail me so that at least I wouldn’t feel guilty.”
Todd leaned forward, the movement caught her eye and she turned to look at him again. The intensity in his gaze made her insides tighten in a way that she’d never felt before. “And what do you really want to do?”
Allison looked back at him, her heartbeat increasing as if she were running a race.

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