Submission

This story is getting intense. To me, anyway. Maybe for you too. I hope so.

I mentioned in yesterday's blog post that Alanna had done a major mess-up, mostly through being too impulsive, being a little too pampered and acting out selfishly.  It turned into such a hard chapter for me to write, perhaps the hardest thing I've ever written, because both of my main characters were so miserable.  One of the things that I love about David, and that I've gotten several comments on, is how sweet and caring he is.  Granted, I haven't been reading that much BDSM on Lit, I've been reading BDSM romances on my Kindle, but I've received several comments about how many times there are harsh / cruel Masters and how much people are enjoying reading about David's tenderness.

He wants to be tender. He cares so much about Alanna and he loves her the way she is. But in Chapter 13 he is forced by circumstances to become so much harsher with her than he ever wanted to, and in some ways harsher than I've ever had any Master be.  Not because of the physical punishment, but the emotional stuff and the training that he's going to have to put her through. If it was up to David, I have a feeling he'd spend all his time spoiling Alanna.  I think it's better for him that he's not going to get the chance to - especially because it would mean that eventually she'd mess up and it could have been ever WORSE than it was... but it's rough on.

Because David's so upset about how he has to treat Alanna, that in turn makes her upset because she's disappointed her Master, has to face her own selfishness and the fact that she's been taking him and his attention for granted, and also deal with a physical punishment that hurts him emotionally.

By the time I was done with this chapter I was rather emotionally wrung out myself.  I wouldn't be surprised if people hate this chapter, cuz the truth is... ain't nobody happy in it. But I do think it makes for a better story. At least I hope it does. 

In some ways I feel like I'm taking a bit of a risk with Chapter 13. Which is good for me as a writer. It's just also scary. I've never written a chapter for any story like this.  Normally I shy away from real conflict between characters who care about each other, because that's not sexy... but I've been trying to be better about keeping things real and having more of a plot line and more character development and emotional growth between them... and the best way to grow together is to get through some kind of hurdle together.

So this is my hurdle Chapter (maybe because it's Chapter 13 and therefore the bad luck chapter? LOL). And man does it have some ripple effects on the rest of the story line.

I'm about halfway through Chapter 14 now.  It's possible that the story will extend to 19 Chapters, but at the moment I'm planning it for 18.